I'm trying to be a good dad. I even threw a party for my kid with balloons, princesses, and everything, but I was not expecting to be that distracted by the chick I hired to play the princess. Are you telling me that's what kids are looking out for in their princesses' movies? No wonder they love them so much! The most shocking thing is that the princess seemed to like me just as much because as soon as the party was over, she took off her top and let me play with her bouncy tits while she rubbed my magic lamp. After that, I just had to take her to the bedroom, and well, let me just say that next year, I want my birthday to have a princess theme as well.